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Homeownership: not all it’s cracked up to be


As previously mentioned, we’ve upgraded from renters to homeowners. It seemed like a good idea and, you know, everybody’s doing it.

Here’s the thing. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be. There are a lot of things they don’t tell you when you’re signing those papers and handing over your first born. (Kidding, guys. My dog is fine.)

Number one: your garage isn’t your garage.
One of the “non-negotiables” during our house hunt (more on that later) was a garage. We’d been living at an apartment complex with a garage so we’d grown accustomed to covered parking and all that Jazz. However, what your realtor, title company, mom and dad, the man upstairs, etc. will fail to tell you is that you will have so much CRAP stored in there – the bikes you bought because you moved to the suburbs, mulch and weed killer because, oh yeah, you have a yard now – the boxes you failed to unpack because, well, who cares?

Number two: the non-negotiables
Finding a house that met all of our wants was impossible because, well, we aren’t millionaires yet. But our needs were pretty much met. We needed two bathrooms – don’t judge me –  YOU try living in literally 700 square feet with one bathroom and a man who eats 12 times a day, and let me know how it goes. We also needed a decent sized backyard – again – YOU try living in a 5th floor apartment with a tiny dog with a bladder the size of a lima bean and also a fiancé who brings home stray dogs for fun. The garage mentioned above was also on my list – eyeroll. And I really wanted an open-concept home so that I could yell at David from the kitchen to pick up his socks in the living room. This is what dreams are made of y’all. Most of these “needs” came back to bite me but whatever.

Number three: the yard
The funny thing about grass is that when it rains, it grows. We didn’t have a lawn mower because our hardwood floors at the apartment – oddly enough – didn’t grow any grass. Luckily for us, my grandpa owns a landscaping company – Hercules Lawncare (shameless plug, let me know if you want his info) and he was able to add us to his weekly route.

Number four: the utilities
Wouldn’t you know that it is significantly less expensive to heat and cool a brand new (tiny but well-insulated) apartment than it is to heat and cool a still-kind-of-small, much-older, two story house? If y’all could see David’s panic when we got our first electricity bill for our “open concept, natural lighting,” house, you would’ve died. The man went out and bought black out curtains and firewood and basically anything else that can protect us from the sun and/or wind. We live in a dungeon now, it’s fabulous.

My point is this, we love being homeowners – or, uh – living in a house. It’s the “being homeowners” part that caught us by surprise. Regardless, it’s bragging rights. We did it! We have a mortgage and we are slaves to the bank now – JK guys it’s not that bad. Plus our apartment rent was higher than our mortgage, so there’s that. More space for less money.

P.S. For anyone who doesn’t know, my fiancé (who gets to be the butt of a lot of my jokes and stories on here) David is a cooler, even funnier version of Chip Gaines and he did basically gut and re-do our entire home (I don’t recommend anyone living in a house while it’s being remodeled but that’s beside the point). Click here to see before & after pics of our house and Click here to see more of his work, or contact him!

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Chronicles of Cohabitation


UPDATE on my life, if anybody cares. My ~boyfriend~ and I recently made a huge life changing decision to ~move in together~ … ok it’s not that life changing since I was already spending most weekends at his place anyway. But it’s a pretty big step to me.

Anywho… I know not everyone agrees with it… (Dad, I’m talking to you)

How could we do this?

Live together.

Unmarried.

Shacking up.

Living in sin, I know. But hear me out on this one… I can list a million different reasons we chose to live together… I’m not living out of a duffle bag on the weekends, we get to see each other everyday (hello, I kinda like the guy), but the main reason is so that this can be a trial run. A test period, so to speak…

Some old fashion peeps might think an engagement or marriage should come before or along with moving in together… I disagree.

What if we get married, and I find something that irks me… Like, oh, I don’t know, the beard trimmings he leaves in the sink… or the fact that he takes his socks off in the living room and leaves them there? (This is hypothetical, of course)

What if I discover that he is physically incapable of rinsing out the sink or picking up his socks? Or what if he simply refuses to do either of those things as an act of rebellion?

What if I find myself married to a sockless bearded monster who can’t stand the amount of clothes I have? Or the fact that I let clothes sit in the dryer and get all wrinkly again?

This is why I think moving in together is so beneficial. We can test the waters and ask ourselves, “How much do I really love this person? Is it worth picking up his socks? Is he willing to clean his own beard trimmings?”

This is all hypothetical, again.

Breaking up or moving out is one thing. Divorce is quite another. Not that I see either of these things happening in our future. So far, the beard trimmings and socks don’t bother me badly enough. But keep an eye out for more Chronicles of Cohabitation.

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Stop Asking Me When I’m Gonna Have Kids


Seriously, stop. It’s annoying. Did it ever occur to you that maybe I don’t want them? Maybe I’m not trying to get knocked up?

Hello, I’m 21 years old, what the hell do I need a kid for? Continue reading “Stop Asking Me When I’m Gonna Have Kids”

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5 Things You Should Leave in 2015


In 2015 I turned 21. I quit sneaking into bars and arguing with bouncers about my address. In 2015 I graduated college. I quit calling myself a student and writing essays for money. In 2015 I got a real job. I quit sleeping ’till 2pm everyday. Continue reading “5 Things You Should Leave in 2015”

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Why I Really Want to Move Out


I’m 21. I’ve moved out of my parents’ house twice now. Once when I left for college, and again a few months later. I had this idea in my head of what being independent meant. I wanted Continue reading “Why I Really Want to Move Out”

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10 Things I’m Thankful For


Tis the season to be thankful, I suppose. While I realize I have countless things to be thankful for, I do think I have a few non-traditional things that I’ve come to really appreciate [wine & social media.] Continue reading “10 Things I’m Thankful For”

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NO ONE PAID ME TO WRITE THIS BLOG, but they should have


Holy stinkin’ crap you guys. I’m writing this purely out of the kindness of my heart. I’ve got to give you a little background info before I tell you why I’m freaking out though. Continue reading “NO ONE PAID ME TO WRITE THIS BLOG, but they should have”