We’ve all been there. You go out with someone and it seems great. You met up (or he picks you up or you guys fly together on his broomstick, whatever.) You have dinner or drinks and possibly share a romantic dessert that you know you shouldn’t be eating. It seems like you’re making decent conversation. You look forward to hearing from him or her again… andddd nothing.
He or she either ghosted on you or sent you the “Look, you’re a great guy…” text. It sucks, I know. I’ve been on both ends of this, and I know how confusing it can be. So I came up with a list – yes, a list – of reasons he or she might’ve decided against another date.
- It just wasn’t there. You spent more time talking about the waiter than anything else.There wasn’t chemistry. Maybe they thought you were boring. Who knows? You can’t force these things. If the attraction and chemistry isn’t there, sorry bout cha.
- You wore sweats. A friend of mine met up with a guy from Tinder and he wore sweatpants – yes, SWEATPANTS – to their date. It doesn’t matter if they were freaking GUCCI, they were sweatpants. And FYI, the date wasn’t at the gym or a yoga studio. I wouldn’t wear Nike shorts, don’t freaking wear sweatpants.
- You showed red flags of some sort. I actually went on a date once and the guy’s phone was on Bluetooth, connected to his car. And it started ringing and it was some chick’s name on the navigation system. I blew it off. Until we got back in the car to leave and then it rang again and a different girl’s name showed up. Like, come on, at least disconnect your phone.
- You revealed you had kids. Unfortunately, this is a deal breaker for some women. If you’re 30, dating a 20 year old, don’t be surprised if she grimaces when you mention kids. Also, ladies, if you’re 20 dating a 30 year old, don’t be surprised if he has kids – or an ex-wife.
- You were cuter in photos. In today’s day and age, chances are your date has already found you on Instagram and scrolled back 80+ weeks. If you meet up and look nothing like your pictures, there’s gonna be a problem.
- You smoked (in the car). A friend of mine said no to a second date because he smoked in the car. For some people, it’s just a turnoff.
- You called and texted constantly after the date. Give each other some time to decide how it went. If you immediately sent a text inquiring about the next date, it might make you come off as clingy or desperate. Don’t be those things.
- Whoever initiated the date didn’t pay. If a guy asks me out, I’m sorry, I expect him to pay. Call me old fashioned. If I ask a guy to hangout, I might pay or split the bill. Idk tbh bc I’m kinda cheap.
- You didn’t tip well. This is a major deal breaker if one of you is or was in the service industry at any point in time. It makes you look cheap. Know tipping etiquette!
- You couldn’t put your phone down. It’s rude and annoying. Get off your phone for at least the first few dates. Actually, stay off your phone on all dates, if you can.
- She scoped out your Instagram… and didn’t like what she saw. If you’re constantly partying and posing with women with huge breasts, she might be a little intimidated. Or just think you’re a sleaze. Keep it clean, especially when it comes to drinking and posting with members of the opposite sex.
- Language was dirtier than the establishment. So you went to a dive bar… And she cussed like a sailor. Some people find that unattractive. My dad thinks ladies shouldn’t drop F bombs every other sentence. But have any of you met my mom?
- You wanted to take a picture together – on the first date. Umm, no. This is just a no. It’s kinda weird, particularly if it’s your first time meeting.
- You talked too much. You felt like conversation was flowing freely, but really it was just you. And that’s just it. You wouldn’t shut up and let him or her talk. Aim for the conversations to be about 50/50.
- You texted her, “you up?” at 2am. Lol I’ve also had this happen to me after a date. Just, no. That’s one way to get blocked, my friends.
- You were rude to the wait staff. This kinda goes along with the tipping etiquette. Plus you can tell a lot about a person by the way they treat the server, bartender, etc.
- You showed up late. Whether you guys decided on a time two weeks ago or two hours ago, don’t be late. If you think you can’t be ready by 7, tell him 7:30. Don’t keep people waiting.
- You talked like a walking thesaurus. Seriously, give it a rest. Don’t try too hard to impress someone with your extensive vocabulary. You sound ridiculous.
- You brought up your ex. This seems like a no brainer, but it’s honestly not. Unless your date specifically asks, “What about your last relationship?” DON’T BRING IT UP. I had a date ask me about my ex once, and it annoyed me. Like please don’t bring up that lying cheating bastard while I’m eating cheese fries. Just please don’t.
Anyway, I think that’s a decent list. If you think of any, leave them in the comments. I love hearing bad date horror stories. Haha.