I’ll be the first to admit that I’m always in a relationship. Ever since my first boyfriend EVER cheated on me (cheating actually happens in middle school, it’s really disheartening, I know LOL) I’ve been bouncing from relationship to relationship. I’m not sure what it is. Maybe I like having a go-to person to spend all of my time with. Maybe I hate the idea of being alone. But I kid you not, the longest I’ve ever been “single” is like 2 weeks, and even then, there was always someone I was giving my attention to. Until now.
I’ve been single for a month now. I know that’s not long, but I’ve made it a personal goal of mine to stay single for as long as possible. All summer? Hopefully. All year? Maybe. For the rest of my life? We’ll see.
Anyway, I did what any girl just out of a serious relationship would do… I partied – hard.
According to my Instagram, I spent every Friday and Saturday (and sometimes Sunday) out at bars and pools, going on dates and playing sand volleyball with people I barely knew. I downloaded a dating app and let guys buy me drinks. I went wild, y’all. Not that I have any intentions of stopping… but here are a few lessons I’ve learned this month:
- Some of these “dating apps” are primarily used for hookups.So go ahead and let that guy buy you a few drinks and some fried pickles, but remember that he may or may not invite you back to his place. That’s cool if you’re into that. Me, well, I had to ghost on him because I was really only there for the food.
- Guys who only message you on Snapchat (even though they have your number) might have a girlfriend. Either that or he’s up to something shady. So steer clear.
- If he does text you, but it’s only during work hours (M-F/8-5) and occasionally at 1am on a Saturday night, he also probably has a girlfriend (and she will probably contact you via Facebook Messenger to call you a “home wrecking whore” even though he told you he was single.
- Regardless of how long you’ve been out of a relationship, there is more than likely gonna be some unfinished business. So stay civil and be nice if he still has some of your valuables stowed away in his nightstand.
- Bars are like dating apps in that when a dude buys you a drink, don’t be surprised if he stays to chat. You can be nice and exchange a few words and then try to wriggle free (if you aren’t interested) or you can be a boss and walk away with the drink. Just remember that he probably will NOT buy you another one.
- I cannot stress this enough: Steer clear of drama. Steer clear of exes. And steer clear of exes’ new girlfriends. All it’ll do is hurt you or piss you off when you’re trying to focus on yourself. Let go and avoid uncomfortable situations… And trust me, there will be uncomfortable situations.
All in all, I’m having a great time. I won’t deny the fact that I was miserable the first couple of weeks. But I learned to love the freedom of making plans and booking flights without checking with anyone and going out on a whim. I did delete my dating apps because I realized that eventually, the guy will expect something more and I’m not there right now. I’ve only been at this for a month. Another month could go by and I could be miserable. I’ll keep you posted.