What I’ve Learned Being Single

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m always in a relationship. Ever since my first boyfriend EVER cheated on me (cheating actually happens in middle school, it’s really disheartening, I know LOL) I’ve been bouncing from relationship to relationship. I’m not sure what it is. Maybe I like having a go-to person to spend all of my time with. Maybe I hate the idea of being alone. giphyBut I kid you not, the longest I’ve ever been “single” is like 2 weeks, and even then, there was always someone I was giving my attention to. Until now. Continue reading

A Letter To My Ex

I could be really cliché and fill this blog with Beyoncé and Rihanna lyrics. I could totally bash my exes and announce exactly what caused each breakup. But instead, I’m going to say thank you.

Thank you for everything. The dinners, the drinks, the sleepovers, the movie nights and the talks about where this relationship was going. I really enjoyed it all. Aside from the occasional fights and trust issues, I did enjoy a majority of our relationship. So thank you.

Thank you for letting me go. Thank you for admitting that you still had some growing up to do and that I deserved more in a relationship. You taught me, firsthand, that it’s OK not to be ready for a relationship. It meant a lot to me that you could admit that. It hurt, but I’m glad you could be honest for once.

Thank you for calling me insecure and paranoid. Thank you for telling me that I needed to workout and wear more makeup. Thank you for criticizing what I ate. Thank you for judging me for wanting to indulge in the occasional Frappuccino. I’ve made some new friends recently, friends who yell “YASS QUEEN SLAY” as I’m contouring the shit out of my face in the restroom, “YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL!” So thank you for never complimenting me, otherwise I wouldn’t appreciate the friends I have.

Thank you for lying to me. About where you were and who you were with. Thank you for hiding your relationship with her. Thank you for calling me jealous and insecure even though you gave me every reason to be that way. Thank you for showing me that lying and withholding the truth are essentially the same thing. I sleep better at night now that I know I’m not being lied to and/or cheated on.

Thank you for keeping me grounded. For telling me that I shouldn’t have male friends or go out without you. Thank you for controlling what should’ve been the most fun year of my life while you went and did exactly what I wasn’t supposed to be doing.

Thank you for showing me what a relationship should NOT be like. One day I’ll meet the right person. He’ll be honest, loyal and understanding. He’ll compliment me and worry about me without being too controlling. I’ll be appreciative and so grateful to have someone who treats me like a human. I thank you for that.