Tips for a Clueless Boyfriend

For all the guys who suffered an epic fail last Valentine’s Day, take my advice (cause I’m usually right.)

The Hallmark Holiday is right around the corner, and while this blog is directed at YOU, I’m totally writing it in the hopes that it’ll benefit your girlfriend.

“Valentine’s Day isn’t a real holiday; we don’t need to celebrate it, right?” Wrong.

Don’t ever say this to your girlfriend.

I actually broke up with a semi-serious boyfriend once because he didn’t get me anything. He didn’t even acknowledge the holiday. No candy, flowers or teddy bear. Not even a date. It was literally just a regular day to him. When I brought it up, he said he’d take me to dinner later that week. I know it shouldn’t have bothered me, but it did.  So when that “belated” Valentine’s Day date never came, I ended the relationship. Thank you, cupid.

I honestly couldn’t have cared less. Stuffed animals are pointless, flowers die. And most of the Valentine’s Day chocolate isn’t even that great. It’s the thought that counts. And there was absolutely no thought. Plus when you’re openly dating someone, people ask: “So what did so-and-so get you for Valentine’s Day?”

“Nothing” is a really embarrassing answer. At least get her something she can mention when her friends ask.

So here’s a gift guide for you…

  • Don’t spend a million bucks on floral arrangements. You can pick up a nice arrangement at Kroger for half the price of floral deliveries. Save your money.
  • On that note, if you’re gonna do flowers, steer clear of roses. They’re cliche. Do something different. And honestly, roses are kinda expensive.
  • Don’t skip out on a date. Don’t give her flowers and expect to be off the hook. Girls want to be wined and dined… Or at least I do.
  • With that being said, don’t feel like you have to spend $200 on a steak dinner. Again, it’s the THOUGHT that counts! For once in your sad little life, make your girl some dinner! Grill a steak, be a man! Grr!
  • If you have no confidence in your cooking whatsoever, at least plan ahead. Don’t make a last minute decision to go to Olive Garden at 7pm on Valentine’s Day. This is like Black Friday for restaurants. PACKEDDDD. Make a reservation beforehand, or stay in.
  • Don’t try to get out of the date “because you have to work.” Brunch will do just fine.

Another tidbit… if a girl says she doesn’t like flowers, she might be lying. I’d never really gotten flowers and I decided that *sniff* I didn’t like them anyway. But I actually do, now that I’ve dated guys who are out of college so yeah.

So basically, if you feed her, take her to a movie and get her flowers, you’re golden. Even 2 out of 3 of those is still ok.

By the way, my boyfriend called me a materialist animal for writing this… But at least I’m keepin’ it real.

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